Want to lose weight without trying? Without moving a limb? Without cutting back on fudge, cream teas, trifle-flavoured ice-cream and daily lattes? Well, as I am finding out, you bloody well can’t. You categorically cannot lose weight and tone up without actually moving your body or reducing your treat consumption. I have been having a hard time accepting these hard truths.
I wake each day in the hope that I may be smaller than the day before. Despite making few changes to my scoffing regime. That’s spectacularly thick isn’t it? I do expect changes to happen in my life, without really being involved in the process.
I’m writing at book. At least I was, until I moved to Cornwall. My motivation for sitting down and working has dramatically diminished; my motivation minified. However, I somehow still expect to get my book published; to receive the call from Harper Collins asking for my manuscript and advising me they would like to pay an advance of £250,000 whilst I tinker with my thoughts. They can wait; they’ve no other clients.
I apply the same deluded methodology to my body. I expect to see improvements in my physique as soon as I return from my twenty minute swim in the sea! I will look at my naked body in the mirror and say to my husband: “Ooh look, do you think I’m looking more toned? I think I’m looking more toned.” This is often met with a silent shrug.
And even if I was looking firmer, my imbecilic brain would convince me it is now perfectly justifiable to have a whole tin of jam roly poly and a pot of custard (pudding choices are limited in my local Spa).
I wish I knew why I did these things and I’d love to know how I can stop. How can I feel more motivated to get the body I desire and the book I’m writing, written?
Before conquering the mountain, I thought I’d try the stairs first. Therefore, I am going to begin my journey to self-improvement by quitting daily treats. For now. Perhaps not quit entirely but at least, reduce. I know I can watch the beautiful Cillian Murphy in tonight’s Peaky Blinders without the accompaniment of a packet of custard creams and a Wagon Wheel or two. I know I am capable of walking into town without stopping for a Nutella crepe and a latte en route.
Once I have trounced the treats, I am hoping I will feel stronger and more in control of my destiny. At least, that is my plan. It’s important to have a plan in life, as long as you learn how to follow it. Here I go……